5/29/2009

Do we grow together or outgrow each other?

We outgrow many things in life..our shoes, our favourite teddy, out favourite shirt, favourite song, etc..my question is do we also outgrow people we love? (or used to)Found the following article which is quite a good read..

Recently Heather began a discussion about outgrowing our spouses. In one of her latest articles she discussed how we can outgrow friendships and in the same manner may also outgrow our mate as time passes by. Ironically I have been thinking along the same line of similar terms.

However, my mind has been rather focused on long term marriages that end. What is it after twenty years of marriage that would make someone want to give up and leave? After spending much of their efforts and time together, do these couples really want to throw in the towel now?

Long lasting relationships take a lot of work, love, and care. They can be very rewarding and satisfying. So why after the years of making it work, would one want to stop?

It is much easier for me to accept the break-ups of newly married couples. I can understand that their expectations were not met and possibly they were not ready to give the relationship the nurturing that it needed to grow. These couples at times I feel simply did not give the relationship the chance that it deserved or perhaps they "jumped" into it too soon.

However, couples who live their lives together for years and then spilt, intrigue me. Could it be that the two have outgrown each other? Is it that their life events have taken them into different directions with different needs? Is it that their mate no longer satisfies them emotionally? Has aging brought on a new perspective on life?

I have found that in many cases, the relationship has not really changed that much. There is typically not an affair or any other major event that brings on the divorce or the leaving of one or the other mate.

In my next article I will address some reasons why I feel that these couples decide to end their years of life together.

Source: Family.com
by Lyn Newton

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